Escape

It's in times like these when the world is so chaotic and people are being murdered for no reason other than hate that all I can think about is getting away. When social media is flooded with negativity and arguments of who's right and wrong, I just feel like throwing my computer out the window and taking off. Protesting should be a way to make a change, have your voice be heard. Not escalate the problem to larger, tragic proportions. EVERYONE MATTERS. It makes me so deeply upset that our country has not learned from history. *sighhhh*

ANYWAY,

I haven't posted since May and I thought it would be a good time to reflect on a camping/road trip I went on with my people. I considered it my birthday celebration because exploring new places, sleeping under the stars & experiencing a breathtaking view is 10X more amazing than getting fxcked up at some party. My friends drove from SF to Barstow where I met them. From there we drove through the night to Zion National Park in Utah, an oasis in the middle of the desert. We hiked the Emerald Pools the next day. It was like being in Jurassic Park with waterfall sliding down colossal cliffs. The following day we hiked Angels Landing which consists of several intense switchbacks and towards the top you are on a 4 foot wide trail with 1000ft drops on each side. The view from the top is so worth all of the work! We were even told to turn around by a seasoned hiker because she said the rain would make the rocks slippery. Luckily the rain never came. 

Since it was technically my birthday I brought balloons and had everyone take one out for some photos. And OF COURSE I brought my unicorn onesie. DUH.

After we left Zion, we made our way to Arizona. On the way we stopped at Horseshoe Bend for sunset. My camera died at Angels Landing so these are iPhone photos.

We arrived at a beach at Wahweap, Lake Powell for a free spot to stay around midnight to set up camp. You could literally see all the stars. We blew up some balloons with LEDs and I took some long exposures. John made some amazing mac and cheese and we sat by the fire all night. Woke up to an amazing beach with ice cold water and some gorgeous fluffy clouds. On the way out we stopped at Antelope Canyon. It was the longest, deepest, most beautiful crevice I have ever been inside of. ;) I never wanted this trip to end! The world is so beautiful. Go see it!

Way Too Many Feels

Remember "Free Writes" from Elementary school? Well this post is all over the place so brace yourself.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. By thinking, I mean feeling. I am trying to become more aware of what I am feeling and why. It is important to reflect for me, otherwise I lock myself in my house for a day and I overthink my whole existence. This also could explain why I make the art that I do. I recently retook the Meyer Briggs Personality test and the results were so spot on that it even suggested that I chose Graphic Design, Painting or Writing as a career...INSAAAANE.

INFP

The Healer

Short Description: Curious, loyal, understanding, and idealistic. Doesn't stray from core values.

Known as the "Healers," INFPs are idealistic and visionary. They are dedicated to their values and to their family and friends. INFPs strive to live a life that closely conforms with their values. Representing roughly 4 percent of the general population, INFPs are inquisitive and quick to see different potential scenarios. Healers work to comprehend people and to help them reach their own personal potential. They are resilient, willing to change, and accepting of others unless they oppose their core values. Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods.

Strengths

  • Are concerned about the wellbeing of others
  • Perceive and are sensitive to the feelings of others
  • Have long term loyalty and commitment
  • Possess a deep capacity for caring and love
  • Are driven to meet expectations of others
  • Strive for amicable, positive situations
  • Are supportive, nurturing and encouraging
  • Easily recognize and respect other's need for space
  • Express themselves well
  • Are adaptable and diverse

Weaknesses

  • Are often shy or reserved
  • Are protective of their personal space
  • Avoid conflict and criticism
  • Constantly search for praise and credit
  • May react emotionally to high pressure situations
  • Have difficulty leaving bad relationships
  • Avoid scolding or punishing others
  • May take longer to share their feelings
  • Have perfectionist tendencies that may cause a lack of self-credit
  • Tend to display a lot of self-blame

UMMMM. Yes that is me. Nothing in there is NOT me. Lately I have been evaluating my small circle of friends. I AM an idealist. I have this little life cheerleader in my head telling me that everyone around me has the potential to be amazing and feel good. Most of the time I am in my own little world of thought and possibility. Completely unaware of my surroundings or what's happening in real life. I am accepting of most people because I am able to see other perspectives easily. In fact, I am fascinated by the way other people see the world because I am so deep into my own.  I can be spontaneous and I love a good adventure. I love to be supportive of other people, it makes me feel good. I love giving my friends advice. I want every situation to be positive and I can easily express myself through my art, my writing, my dancing. BUT, when it comes to telling people what is going on in my head, it takes me a while to extract my thoughts and vocalize them. Sometimes it even comes out to be the complete opposite of how I feel. It's like emotional dyslexia. Which is where my weaknesses come in...

I know everyone is critical of themselves. But I feel like it's even harder when it's difficult to be open about your feelings. It causes me to isolate myself until eventually, I either write like I am doing now, maybe cry a little bit or make some art with absolutely no direction. Now I am learning this is because I am introverted which means I am energized by my inner world. I definitely avoid conflict because of the whole "every situation should be positive" delusion. I will let things build up until I explode with emotion and then I become this crazy monster you thought you knew. I also have a firm set of "rights" and "wrongs" that I do stick by which can be good and bad. It has caused a few of my relationships to fade out because of disagreements on values. I am a firm believer in honesty, getting what you give and sticking to your word. This makes for a small circle of friends who know me on a deep level because I am able to open up to certain types of people but accepting of all/most.

I have come to the understanding that my art reflects my inner world. In a lot of my photos, I am the subject because I know me the best. I know how I feel even though I cannot explain it to someone directly. I use imagery instead of words and I use this blog for a deeper understanding of myself. It has helped me see myself and the way I would like others to see me. So if you read this long ass rant, then you must care about me, so thank you. I would love for everyone to learn more about what goes on in their brains. It would make for better communication and understanding of the people we surround ourselves with. <3

Take the Meyer Briggs Personality Test here.

 

 

 

Twenty-Five

I feel as if this post is more of a diary entry than a blog post, but here we go. It's my birthday...my 25th! I have to say it has been one of the most transformational years to date. My art has become more of a priority than ever. Which is why you're reading this blog. I started to care enough to put it out there. I made an amazing group of friends. I graduated college. I moved from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Traveled to the other side of the planet. Rented my first apartment. Got a full time job (meh). Got laid off from that boring job. Found a job where I am learning and enjoy my time at. Made some new best friends. Found a new love for taking photos of people. 

Accomplishments are nothing unless you learn something from them. I have learned so much as a result of my move. I've learned I can't rely on art to survive, too much pressure. It takes time and practice to find a niche. The people I have encountered in LA have taught me to be a little more selective of who I give my time to. As a result, my time has become more valuable. The people I surround myself affect me more than I know. I have learned to say NO. I have learned to be more upfront and honest. It has saved everyone time and most times, people consider it respectful...Who knew?!  Traveling has taught me there is much more to learn outside of a classroom and the whole world is worth seeing. Which ensued a promise I made to myself. That I would get to see it all before I die. I have learned to keep in touch with my family, no matter how busy I am. They aren't around forever. 

I also lost my grandmother this year which left a huge hole in my heart. She was like my life cheerleader. Always so supportive of everything I did and always there to give me the sassiest advice about guys. I miss her so much.

If I write my goals here, it's as if they have to be met. Even if I am the only one who reads this blog. It's in writing and the pressure is on! So here it is...what I hope to accomplish in the upcoming year as a 25-year-old WOMAN:

Show my work in a gallery

Learn how to successfully run a business 

Save my money for an investment 

Become a girlboss

Collaborate with as many people as possible

Paint for 3 hours a week

Post to my blog once a week

Take as many photos as possible

Keep a journal for shoot ideas

Travel (TBD Israel? Europe?)

Meet more amazing people to surround myself with

Burning Man (YES IT'S A GOAL)

There is so much more to add that could be categorized more as bucket list items but I will save that for another time. ;) Anywho! Today is my birthday and since I have an obsession with disco balls and wigs I decided to do a little birthday photoshoot. I like to call it Studio25. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dj Chlorophyll

This week I went to a super dope event called Data Garden with Sara at Mack Sennett Studios. This beautiful venue was built by producer Mack Sennett in 1916 as a silent film studio. Now it's used for film, TV, art, fashion, photoshoots, and events (fun fact: No Doubt's "Don't Speak' was shot here.. YAS Kweeeeeen!) Check out their website here. 

So, Data Garden is an art project that creates experience through music and technology. I honestly had no idea what Sara invited me to. I was saged before entering and offered boxed water. When we walked in there were neon projections on the wall and plants hooked up to speakers and laptops. Soft, dreamy music came through the speakers. We went into the next room where there was a long line to try the virtual reality experience. Through observing the function of animal sight, creative collective Marshmallow Laser Feast allows you to view life in the eyes of a frog, dragonfly, owl or mosquito - a dragonfly experiences life over 10 times faster than a human and in 12 colour wavelengths (a human in a combination of three) - the video along with a soundtrack and a vibrating backpack are an amazing take on an alternative reality.

This was my first time experiencing any type of virtual reality and it was AWESOME! I chose to be a dragonfly as suggested. Here is a video to show you what I witnessed.

After being a dragonfly, we ventured into the back room which is where all the videos are shot. In here were plants hooked up to sound systems, beautiful transforming tye dye projections, and a station where you could literally sit and listen to apples. We were so obsessed with the projections, that we ended up lying on the floor for some photos. After getting caught trying to take our tops of for photos (typical), we met the man behind the projections. Mapjacks has worked on projection mapping in videos for Kygo and Janet Jackson. We will definitely be in touch to get creative. His work is beautiful!

If you ever get a chance to go to a Data Garden event or go to Mack Sennett Studios, I highly recommend going! I met some awesome people who work on some amazing projects. Here are a few of my favorite shots of our floor shoot. ;)

Trash to Trea$ure

I've been wanting to start collecting cheap or free furniture/scrap material and making art out of it. I have been wanting to paint on glass and shoot with it for a while now when my friend Sara (another amazing fellow artist) sent me a Craigslist link to a set of 5 FREE shower doors. I picked them up in Pasadena the next day. They've been sitting in my garage for a month now and I finally made the effort of making a mood board for a shoot we could use them in and buying some spray paint. What was going to be thrown in the trash will now become a backdrop or prop for photos, a piece of art to hang, a room divider, etc. I love making old look new!

Vibing with Spring

Okay, so I haven't posted since like 1985 and it's because I was feeling seriously desperate to find work to pay the bills. Being an artist usually means you need a day job. You can't put all the pressure on your work to make money so you have to swallow your pride and get a part timer. So my blog was neglected BUT I had a friend feeling the same way about her work. We decided to get creative together and come up with a shoot. Here was my inspo photo. I love the 70s vibe flower child look and of course I love doing creative makeup looks. 

 

It was the first day of spring so I went to the flower district downtown and found this amazing store Moskatels on San Julian St...DEFINITELY tops any craft store I have ever been to. They had life size silk sunflowers and roses, crafts, fake food props, and all sorts of crafts! Everything was pretty cheap too. I bought some little white flower accents I could tear apart and use for the lashes and a colorful bouquet to incorporate. I teamed up with Brandi again who styled us with Agent Provocateur.  We set up, did makeup and shot til about 4am. I couldn't decide if I liked them edited in color or sepia tone. I love both honestly. 

Vegas Trash

Last minute road trip with my girl to source fabric at a tradeshow in Vegas. We turn every adventure into a photoshoot. Vegas has never been very appealing to me. Girls dressed in tight cheap, tacky club dresses and overpriced EVERYTHING. I had a ceviche plate the size of a small mouse for $15. I'm just not into it, unless I have money to blow. Even if I did have the money, I'd rather blow it somewhere way more beautiful and less smelly.

ANYWAY. Here are a few of my favorite shots from the trip. Styled with Bowenero by Brandi Howe. Look at her amazing work here.

Took a random exit off the 15 and caught the sunset for these ones. #magichour

We stopped at Buffalo Bills Resort & Casino in Primm, Nevada on the way home. Place was poppin' off with about 10 people in the whole casino. So Brandi and I ventured over to the huge neon sign outside, got naked and helped each other climb the little shed below the sign. Because when you've run out of outfits to wear, you just go nude, especially under a giant neon flashing sign.

Deep Sea Dreams

People have ideas all the time. They remain ideas until action is taken. I had been having trouble with this myself. How will you ever know what could come out of these amazing ideas if you do not even try to make them come to life? 

One day I was on pinterest and saw this exact photo I wish I could give credit to but couldn't find the Photographer. I loved the lighting and the sexual suggestion. (if you can't tell, I love sexy nude women)

I made a Pinterest board dedicated to the look and feel of the photoshoot I wanted to produce. Then I grabbed all my favorite images from the pin board and made a mood board on Indesign including what I wanted for the concept, makeup, and hair.

Now all I needed was a team to make it ll happen. A good friend of mine just came out with this awesome app called OpenCall for collaborating with other creatives in your area. It makes it so so easy to get a team together and make new connections. Its super easy to use and your portfolio is made or selected images from your instagram. Here is a link to download it.

Luckily I already knew exactly who I wanted involved. We shot at my friend Galen's dope DTLA loft who is also a photographer. His is space is available for shoots and events as well here is a link to the facebook page.
 

My best friend, Colette Broderick is a makeup artist (@lettelou), my aunt, Erin Cheney is a hair stylist (@hairbyerinc) and my friend Maya Donovan is a model (@mayadonovan). 

Although we didn't have enough time to execute the full idea with the paint on the model, the photos came out absolutely perfect! Not only did they turn out gorgeous, but we all had so much fun getting weird with some deep sea animals. Let us just have a moment of silence and appreciation for the cooperation of the deceased in order to be art

... 

Okay, here are a few of the shots Galen and I both shot that I am in love with.

Impromptu

im·promp·tu

(ĭm-prŏmp′to͞o, -tyo͞o)adj.

1. Prompted by the occasion rather than being planned in advance: an impromptu party.

2. Spoken, performed, done, or composed with little or no preparation; extemporaneous: a few impromptu remarks.

 

I recently bought a ring light and a tripod and set it up in my dining room. After I set it up and did a little impromptu self portrait sesh. All you really need is yourself, a few props and some bomb lighting for some good shots. I didn't really have a concept, except that I knew I wanted to wear a wig and my grandmother's fur. It got handed down to me when she passed away and my nana had a very strong influence on me doing what I love. Her advice always really stuck with me and she really believed in me... Obviously she had fabulous taste as well. I LOVE fur coats, they just make me feel so glamorous and sexy. Anyone who knows and love me knows I have started a little collection. 

I just decided to go with the flow and my concept grew as I snapped more photos. I flipped my disco dining room table on its side for a background and played with some things I have around the house. I wanted a Studio 54 type of vibe. I will probably edit some of these and add them to my Photo Art gallery. I have added a few below as well as some shots from the weekend. I went to a Cirque Du Soleil show at the Dodger Stadium for a friends birthday and she ended up knowing a couple of the performers. They came over after for some wine and we had a little photoshoot. Enjoy. :) 

Whatevering

I went to the LA Art Show this weekend and WOW. So many amazing artists and performances. I love all the mix media pieces. All of the layers and textures. It inspired me to do some collaging. I tore up a few magazines and got down and dirty. The feeling of carelessly splatting watercolor on some paper or globbing on some gesso is so therapeutic to me. It can also lead to creating something you'd never purposefully make. I have found the pieces I make quickly and freely have been the favorites. Either way, my creative process is truly a slice of heaven, it could be just as important as sex, food or water.


Orananize

I went on a magical journey to Office Depot a few days ago to get ink for my printer and I found these amazing magnetic wall mounts perfect for storing supplies and such. It was so easy to set up with no nails or putting holes in my wall. They are super strong magnets too! I decided to turn my dining room into a studio that I can eat, paint and take photos in. IDK about you but cleanliness and organization makes me feel at peace. I am so stoked on how it turned out because picking supplies from a messy corner of my living room was getting old...

Here is the link to buy the Perch Peices: 

Nipple Thoughts

Up late again...you know, just thinkin' about nipples. Tonight I was editing a self portrait project I shot for reference photos. They turned out better than expected and part of the main focus of my concept is showing my nipples. I want to show my process on how I start a painting beginning to end, it is an extension of my art. As I was editing, I thought, "should I be censoring myself?" ... Then began my research on which social media outlets ban nipples. The more I read, the more frustrated I became that I should have to cover up a part of my body that represent my femininity and sexuality. I choose to be a sexual being. This is for me. This is for my art and I enjoy making it, whether it be a photo or a painting.

I remember when I painted a piece with a woman's ass as my subject. I posted it to Instagram and Boom. Account deleted. FOR A PAINTING OF AN ASS. What if it was an abstract peach?! If that were to happen now, I would have fought for it. But the work wasn't my best and I started fresh. So, incase you're wondering which apps consider nips taboo and which ones #freethenipple, I've made a list:

Instagram
In its terms of use, Instagram states that users "may not post violent, nude, partially nude, discriminatory, unlawful, infringing, hateful, pornographic or sexually suggestive photos or other content".  (Despite the feeling of intimacy the network creates, Instagram has an economic imperative to maintain its image. "It's about to start making massive amounts of money, and there's no way the company would ever #freethenipple if it meant jeopardising that," Enright concludes.)

Facebook
Facebook's terms state that "Facebook has a strict policy against the sharing of pornographic content and any explicitly sexual content where a minor is involved. We also impose limitations on the display of nudity". But it goes on to say, "we aspire to respect people's right to share content of personal importance, whether those are photos of a sculpture like Michelangelo's David or family photos of a child breastfeeding". Basically, it depends on who comes across your photo. Good luck.

Pinterest
The short version: Some nudity is okay for Pinterest, some isn’t.
The longer version: Artistic, scientific or educational nude photographs are okay here, but we don’t allow those (like photographs of sexual activity) that could be a bad experience for people who accidentally find them. We also allow images of paintings or statues featuring nude subjects, but may remove things like pornographic cartoons.

We don’t try to define art or judge the artistic merit of a particular photograph. Instead, we focus on what might make images too explicit for our community. For example, we don’t allow pornography, and you can’t promote escort, prostitution or other adult sexual services.

Twitter
Twitter is the most accepting of the large social networking sites. It instructs users: "You may not use obscene or pornographic images in either your profile photo, header photo, or user background", but allows users to post pornography in their feed.

Tumblr
And I quote: "Sure. We have no problem with that kind of stuff. Go nuts. Show nuts. Whatever." 

Tumblr and Twitter #freethenipple and they are HUGE social media outlets the whole world can see. Sexualizing women for advertisement and business growth but banning an area of a woman's body that a men ALSO has is just bananas to me. Which is why I will just leave some of my current favorite nudes with beautiful nipples with you tonight. #nipspiration! 

November 2015 issue of GQ Portugal, where model  Daniela Hanganu poses in throwback style with a sexy twist. Photographer Branislav Simoncik captures the sultry (and totally not safe for work) shoot against a light brown backdrop.

Read more: http://www.fashiongonerogue.com/daniela-hanganu-sexy-roller-girl-gq-portugal/#ixzz3yGLjKXKj

João Oliveira
Follow http://onrepeattttt.tumblr.com/tagged/neon for regular doses of neon girls

Nocturnal Bliss

My Schedule lately (perks of freelancing):
10am: Roll out of bed. Make coffee with cinnamon and coconut milk and an omelet.
11am: Check emails, check craigslist for hidden gems (furniture, jobs, free bunnies? Idk I get lonely living alone). *Consider painting* 
12pm: Run around Silver lake Resevoir.
12:45: Make some lunch, clean the house, work on design projects, look for inspiration, watch a show on Netflix (or 2?)
4pm: Dinner with friends etc. 


That Pretty much sums it up, but lately, It isn't until about midnight that something inside of me says "Go make some shit!" Maybe it's the fact that I know everyone else is out partying or sleeping. I guess it makes me feel like I am being one of the most productive people on this side of the planet at that time of night. That also depends on what you consider to be productive though. Either way, I stayed up til about 4am painting. I am almost done with this piece inspired by my girlfriend's fashion line Bowenero . She is an incredible designer who hand makes unique art-inspired pieces. She posted this amazing editorial one of her tops was featured in and the lighting, model and styling were all next level. I had to recreate the image in my own way. I am pretty happy with how it's coming along. I also love my new disco dining room/studio. 

PS. Fun Fact: My table was featured on MTV's "For The Love of Ray Jay" haha #CraigslistComeup!





Big Magic

After moving to the endless suburbs of Los Angeles, I have gained some super valuable knowledge about what I want in life. For me, my comfort zone is being with my close friends and family, in the Bay Area, to be specific. After graduating college at the Art Institute, I decided to say fuck my comfort zone. It makes me feel safe. Safe can be good... but I don't want to be safe. I moved to LA to kick my ass into gear. I know I have talent. That doesn't mean anything until you put it to work. This city is filled with the best of the best, pushing me to be the best I can be.

I titled my first post " Big Magic" because I started reading this amazing book by Elizabeth Gilbert. Of course, I picked it up because the cover is so pretty, but the content is even more beautiful, #lifechanging. You can buy it on Amazon here ... I am telling you right now, if you are scared to spend your time doing what you love (which sounds crazy to me...) This book will put any fears you have into words. The advice she has really stuck to me and since then I have been creating more art. Which was my problem... SIMPLY STARTING